Move Over Mary Poppins!

The real life adventures of one nanny, her husband, child, dogs, house, and whatever else crosses her path.

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Friday, June 29, 2007

In Loco Potty

I have officially decided that Mother Nature's reasoning behind positioning a growing uterus directly atop a urinary bladder is to create future empathy between you and your potty training toddler. At first glance, it might not make sense to place an expanding organ full of future human above a balloon full of pee, and then expect the body possessing these conflicting organs to make it 5 minutes without a potty break. You'd be correct, as it's completely irrational. It does give you a unique perspective on tiny bladders and long shopping trips, though.

I now understand, in a visceral and annoying way, how tough it is to 'go' when you don't have to, and have to when you just can't. I also, despite being an eight year veteran in the in loco parentis business, cannot remember to just "go before we leave, whether you need to or not."

Another brilliant side effect is that I am fast becoming a walking encyclopedia of clean public toilets. I knew a bunch of locations near parks, playgrounds, and in public shopping forums, but I've rediscovered the large chain bookstore as potty, the bar as potty (classy, huh?), and the interstate rest area as potty, even when the interstate wasn't the most practical way to travel from A to B.

In college, I was acquainted with several young men who experimented with adult diapers, beer, and marathon television sessions. I was horrified, disgusted, and of course, secretly impressed with their daring and foulness. I can honestly that despite being secretly impressed, I do not actually want to experiment with such things until nature has taken away my memory at the ripe old age of 99. Now, I may have to rethink my theories on that topic. When faced with a 45 minute commute compounded by a corporate road race closing off access to your car for a few extra minutes, and then a necessary detour into the South End for MassPike access, an adult diaper might be a comforting alternative to soiling the upholstery of your VW...

Does this mean I'm advocating Depends for Expecting Moms as a universal survival tool? Um... Ew. I'm just saying my mind's a little less closed to the concept.

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