What I'm finding most difficult today is the way the world around me sometimes echoes what's in my head... like this morning in the car on the way to work. I was replaying my last conversation with him (which incidentally was four months ago over Thai food in Allston) looking for clues. I know I shouldn't, but find me someone who can lose a friend this way without wondering if they could have helped... There just weren't any clues in that conversation. His pain was that deeply buried. And suddenly the opening strains of "Everybody Hurts" were swamping me, and I'm crying in my car, in rush hour on the Mass Pike.