Homonymous
Due to the constant remodeling of our house, my husband's line of work, and the frightening grasp my 2 year old has on words, Felix can label a fair amount of carpentry and home improvement items that you don't find on Handy Manny.
So, we're in Home Depot yesterday, buying tomato seedlings, cages, seeds, peat pots, stakes for marking deck footings, citronella torches for the backyard, and caulk.
Say it out loud, now, and allow yourself the giggle. Caulk.
Felix is riding in the race car cart (best. invention. ever.), which Mark is holding onto while he inspects different kinds of stakes. He's absorbed by the choices. (Cedar? It's what I've always used... Aluminum? It's resuable! Plastic? Ick.) He's physically holding the cart, but his brain is already on tomorrow's job site.
I am about six feet away, contemplating pulleys and line for a clothesline.
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
Felix is straining out of the seat, reaching backwards into the cart for the two tubes of caulk.
A guy between myself and the cart, picking out some kind of hardware, is trying not to snicker. So am I. I have the sense of humor of a fourteen year old boy.
I, who have been around little kids making gaffes in public for a decade, am not easily embarrassed, but Felix is getting louder and more insistent with every repetition, and I'm shocked Mark hasn't answered him.
"Hon!" I say, just a little louder than conversationally. "For the love of Pete, will you just answer the child?"
"What?" he says, looking at me, genuinely puzzled.
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?" chirps Felix.
Then I lose it. I give over to the giggles.
Mark turns about fourteen shades of embarrassed, then busts out laughing, meanwhile grabbing the two tubes from the cart and handing them to Felix, who brandishes them like batons.
"Mama! Look! Two caulks!"
So, we're in Home Depot yesterday, buying tomato seedlings, cages, seeds, peat pots, stakes for marking deck footings, citronella torches for the backyard, and caulk.
Say it out loud, now, and allow yourself the giggle. Caulk.
Felix is riding in the race car cart (best. invention. ever.), which Mark is holding onto while he inspects different kinds of stakes. He's absorbed by the choices. (Cedar? It's what I've always used... Aluminum? It's resuable! Plastic? Ick.) He's physically holding the cart, but his brain is already on tomorrow's job site.
I am about six feet away, contemplating pulleys and line for a clothesline.
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?"
Felix is straining out of the seat, reaching backwards into the cart for the two tubes of caulk.
A guy between myself and the cart, picking out some kind of hardware, is trying not to snicker. So am I. I have the sense of humor of a fourteen year old boy.
I, who have been around little kids making gaffes in public for a decade, am not easily embarrassed, but Felix is getting louder and more insistent with every repetition, and I'm shocked Mark hasn't answered him.
"Hon!" I say, just a little louder than conversationally. "For the love of Pete, will you just answer the child?"
"What?" he says, looking at me, genuinely puzzled.
"Dad? Can I hold the caulk?" chirps Felix.
Then I lose it. I give over to the giggles.
Mark turns about fourteen shades of embarrassed, then busts out laughing, meanwhile grabbing the two tubes from the cart and handing them to Felix, who brandishes them like batons.
"Mama! Look! Two caulks!"
posted by Cameron | 6:56 AM
14 Comments:
I LOVE it!
@Judy Zamore
You can't make this stuff up.
Also, someday he will HATE me for this.
That may be the best thing i have read today!
Too funny!!! Thanks for sharing this. I love little kid stories! samm who goes off chuckling....
@veronique
thanks. you need to read better stuff, though.
mwah!
@Anonymous
Glad to provide a chuckle, Samm!
Brilliant!
love this so much. I would stand around Home Depot and wait for a moment like that.
@Alta Marie
I just bet you would. Just think, in 2.5 years, you, too, could have a time bomb of words in your shopping cart!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yet another reason why I heart that boy.
AWESOME post! Hilarious story!
Also? Handy Manny is hot. Random fact.
;)
Cheers!
@marymacI've never watched an entire episode of Handy Manny. Mark, an IRL carpenter/contractor says he's "a hack," and Felix cannot learn from him.
By the way, thanks for visiting! (eep! blogging celebrity!)
Love this post! I too have the sense of a humor of a 14 year old boy. Caulk! I need caulk! Where is the caulk?
Snort.
@kris
he actually reprised this story today. he saw my empty reusable shopping bag, in which the caulk had come home, on the seat of the car, and asked, "where's Daddy's caulk?"
I am proud I didn't drive into the median, I was laughing so hard.
dear Felix... thank you so much for this. It's been a cranky kind of week. I've read this twice and it worked both times. Laughed and laughed. Good job munchkin. Keep your mama on her toes. (imaginary Aunt Kate)
Post a Comment
<< Home